message -the two of us-
by AkajiNero8027
Summary: "I won't ask you to forgive me for the way I changed... Just know that your feelings will always stay with me…" EDIT: -full of italics since it's mostly a flashback. present is the one in the end which is plain, not italic-


**Nero**: Hi everyone! Another CP fic, the usual one coming from me! Yoshiki x Satoshi! I'm thinking of making one for other pairings I like but this one really screamed Yoshiki x Satoshi to me. I hope you like it!

This fic by the way is inspired by the song "**message**" by **fripSide**, a japanese trance and pop duo composed of **Satoshi Yaginuma** and **Nanjo Yoshino**. The vocals used to be **nao** until she graduated and Nanjo came. I hope you try to listen to the song after reading the story, it'll make the story much more dramatic.

The english translation of the song is the one or two-liner of the story with the line break. So that make this a song-fic(?), I guess...(?)

**START!**

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**.**

_**message -the two of us-**_

_**.**_

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_Living a solitary life may be a bit too much for us..._

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_'Everyday was always the same. I would get stares from people, jeered by my fellow students and teachers, and basically live my school life as an outcast. An isolated freak that was supposed to be always alone...'_

**_"But..."_**

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_That's why we look for new people to meet throughout our lives._

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_'I have seen you for a while now. Always alone, never talking to anyone, never responding to the harsh words of others. You were simply alone. We were of the same class, Yoshiki. _

_I don't want you to be that way anymore..._

_I came to you and asked you to be my friend, but you rejected me. It brought a strange pain inside, I don't know why. Despite that, I kept on trying to make you come with me, with us..._

_The pain became worse when you suddenly came to me and my friends, asking us if you can join. Of course, we let you become our friend. When __**she**__, Shinozaki, came to our class, your smile got even brighter. _

_It hurts._

_I came to realize that time that something happened between you two. She was the one who'd save you from your solitude, not me._

_Time pass and we became even closer. Along with the joy of being with you, I always felt a pain in my chest when you'd look at Shinozaki and smile, not a smile for friends, but a smile for someone you love._

_Did I also smile like that to you? You see...'_

_"I think I'm in __**love**__ with you..."_

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_At last, I sent you a letter telling you how I feel._

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_'It was hard, willing myself to give you the letter. I was scared to endanger our friendship for something I was nearly sure not to happen._

_For you to love me back._

_In the end, I decided to just leave it in your desk, in a place only you'd surely find. I waited in the written meeting place, my thoughts all panicked and worried._

_I was surprised when you came and told you me you felt the same, that you want to go out with me. All my worries were washed away, my mind and heart only realizing those words you say. I never noticed the lies behind your words that was shown in your eyes.  
_

_After a while, I finally said those three words I thought you'd never hear coming from me.'_

**_"I love you..."_**

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_The way I hurt you is pulling at my heart._

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_'We lasted for a bit while, the latter half was unbearable. I was slipping, I knew it. My feelings were never the same to yours, Satoshi. I couldn't help but adore my savior, Shinozaki. _

_I knew you saw that and I know that I'm hurting you. I know you must've realized that I was using you, as I felt that I never have a chance to be with my savior. I never took notice of your love for me.'_

_"I never minded the **pain** of your **sadness**."_

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_The tears, falling like rain, are washing away the feelings I had for you._

_...No longer can I say 'I love you'…_

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_'I decided to finish our ties of lies. I know you never felt the same way I did, and it hurts so much. I never cried so much before. Only you made me feel so much sadness that I ever felt this way. _

_I wanted to hate you._

_I wanted you to feel at least a small bit of my pain. I wanted you to cry even once for what you did..._

_But I can't..._

_In the end, I decided to break up for you. To let you go and give you a chance to be with her. You said words of apology that never reached me. I didn't pay attention when you left and tears fell on my cheeks afterwards. The only thing that was on my mind that time was that...'  
_

**_"I could never tell you 'I love you' any longer..."_**

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_Once upon a time, you said that always and forever you'll be there for me... _

_...But I don't feel the same, please forgive me._

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_'I should feel completely happy right now. I took the chance you gave me and now I have the girl I love in my arms. To think that she also felt the same way I did, I should only be thinking how happy I am and how to make her happy as well. So why?_

_Why is that I'm thinking of you?_

_I remember the first days of us being together, you'd tell me words you said were embarrassing to repeat, so you'd only say it once or you felt brave._

_You told me you'd stay with me, forever. You told me you'll never leave me, that you'd always stay by my side, no matter what._

_I was still holding my savior and I felt bad for thinking of another. But...'_

**_"I don't feel the same way, Satoshi. Forgive me."_**

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_I'm sorry I hurt you. I could never say how I really felt..._  
_ ...I know I messed up._

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_'Since that day, you and I avoided each other. You'd always go with Shinohara and Nakashima, or maybe with Morishige and Suzumoto. You'd always find a way to never be alone with me. I shouldn't mind it, right? I know that I hurt you and I might never be forgiven but..._

_Why am I now feeling hurt?_

_I felt that I miss your smiles. The smiles you give nowadays are somewhat forced. _

_Did I destroy that as well? _

_You lost some of yourself, particularly that cowardly side of yours that I used to hate and now miss. I'm sorry...  
_

_I'm sorry I hurt you so much...'_

**_"...I know I messed up, I'm sorry Satoshi."_**

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_My change of heart came like sudden rain and it changed me..._  
_ ...All the sweet things you say don't affect me anymore._

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_'I was surprised when I was told by Naomi that I changed. Did I really? She said that the Satoshi she loved is gone and is now happy with Shinohara. It gave me a small stab in the chest when she said that._

_Though it's nothing compared to what you did. _

_You two are now going out for awhile now, right? You tried to talk to me during that time. You'd tease me like you always do, you'd try to talk to me like we're still the best of friends we used to be. You tried to reach out and bring me back, right? _

_I'm sorry, but those sweet words you said and will say can never affect me anymore. No, I think the correct term is that I "can't" let them affect me anymore._

_It hurts... It hurts so much!'_

**_"Besides, they're just lie,__ right?"_**

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_We've been friends since we broke up but I just can't do it, it doesn't feel right, I'm sorry..._  
_ ...I'll miss you a little bit only when you finally forget about me._

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_'I tried to keep our friendship going for a bit longer. I tried to talk to you like before, I tried to go back to my old self. I'm sorry, but I just can't do it any longer. Going back to my old self, it feels wrong when I don't feel that way anymore. _

_In the end, I decided to slowly distance myself from everyone, especially you Yoshiki. I know I'll miss you all when you finally forget about me.' _

**_"But... I know I'll miss you, Yoshiki, much more when you do forget..."_**

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_You said that "always and forever you'll be there for me..."_  
_ ...but I can't say I'd do the same, please forgive me._

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_'You're leaving, I know you are! Why? Is this all because of me?! Didn't you say that you'll always be by my side? No matter what?_

_Where did that do?!_

_I know that I can't do the same, I'm sorry. But, you can't leave everyone else for me. They don't have any rights to stop you, and of course, I don't even have the right to talk you out of leaving after what I did, but..._

_I don't want you to go!_

_I chased you one day, I want to talk you out of it. You'll leave the school, and leave the town, won't you? I heard you one day talking to the teacher. I can't believe this! _

_I never caught up with you and you never let me inside. _

_A few days later, you were gone. We never saw you again.  
_

_Were you really that hurt? Why?'_

**_"Why did I never realize?!"_**

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_Once upon a time, you… Always and forever… But I…_

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_'You said, you'd stay forever. _

**_You? _**

_Who are you again? I know you're someone important to me. Someone who loved me so much, yet I can't seem to recall your face. I thought I'd never forget about you, I made that promise a long time ago.  
_

_Everything fell apart when you left. We slowly drifted apart, the group of friends that you left behind. Shinozaki and I lost interest in each other not long after and decided to end things as well._

_It's strange. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would._

_Years passed and we began to become close once again in a certain class reunion. We talked about the present. Morishige and Suzumoto are now married, as well as Shinohara and Nakashima. It was a hard battle for the two girls, but they pulled through in the end and are now living a happy life together. Yui-sensei is married to a guy named Tsukasa Mikuni. Shinozaki, well... She's now engaged to a man named Akihiko. She looked happy. _

_By the end of the reunion, I noticed that you never came. I never saw you that day and now, I'm starting to forget what you even look like._

**_"I don't want to forget."_**

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_I won't ask you to forgive me for the way I changed..._  
_ ...Just know that your feelings will always stay with me._

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_'It seems to late for me to change but I did. I wished I came to realize my feelings much sooner though._

_Unfortunately, it's all too late, isn't it?  
_

_I'm lying on my bed, trying to remember you again. It was already a few hours after the reunion. _

_This is the only thing I can do for you, and for me..._

_I felt conflicting emotions well up when I finally found a face of you in my mind, clear and smiling. _

_The pain I feel from losing you may never amount enough for forgiveness. Yet the joy of seeing your smile, even if only in my mind, it gives a strange comfort in my heart._

_This wish of mine that will be in vain, my wish for you to know...'_

**_"Satoshi, just know that your feelings... they'll always stay with me. You'll be the only one from now on."_**

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**_"I love you..."_**

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**_._**

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A lone man is standing outside of Kisaragi Academy, a few hours after the reunion of Class 2-9. He was tired, so tired from standing outside the snow, looking at the classroom window of his old class.

'They must be having fun.' That was his thoughts as he watched the window a few hours ago.

He couldn't bring himself to go inside, despite it being a reunion he was supposed to attend. If he did, he'd see the faces of his friends, if he can still call them that. He'd see them look at him with different expressions. A look of sadness or anger? He can't even think about it.

A thing that prevents him from going even more so than his friends is...

"I'll probably see the two of them together."

Yoshiki and his savior, Shinozaki. He definitely can't bring himself to face those two. He can't imagine how he'd act in front of them.

Years of being separated from Yoshiki and his friends didn't make him forget. Even now, he'd probably cry if he sees them happy together.

After some time has passed, he decided to leave the area, as there was nothing more to do.

Maybe he'd face them all someday. Right now, all he can do is walk away from happiness which he was willingly leaving.

He stopped when he reached the road he's going to cross.

"Yoshiki..."

A small smile appeared on the man's face, his eyes spilling tears.

It was quiet on the road he's on. On the other side of the road, there's another person. When the road was safe to cross, he started to walk while wiping the tears away.

The person on the other side of the road walked as he did.

He laughed lightly as he moved forward.

"...It seems even after all this years I..."

The two met at the center, their eyes meeting.

"I still love you, so much..."

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**_._**

**_Someday. Somehow._**

**_._**

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**Nero**: Did you like it? Review your reactions please! :D I'd like to know what you thought of it. The ending was meant to be open(?), so you can make your own end to it. Do they meet again or not? Something like that.

**Once again, try listening to the song "message" of fripSide, the nao version of the 2nd fragment of fripSide album or the Nanjo version of the Decade album, it's really nice, I swear! You can even buy their music if you like it so much! (Shameless. Sorry.) That is if you like to.**

**THANKS again and BYE!**


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